From the Coach’s Chair: When You Want to Quit (Something That’s Hurting You)
Here’s What Brought Me to the Chair Today
Drinking was never a daily habit for me—but it was a social one. A way to loosen up, escape for a bit, and feel like I was connecting with the people around me. It became part of certain routines and celebrations… and, if I’m being honest, there were times it definitely crossed into binge territory.
At some point, it stopped feeling like fun and started feeling like something I didn’t really want in my life anymore. I chose to give it up partly for myself—and partly to support my sister, who was quitting too. It wasn’t some huge, dramatic moment. Just a quiet shift toward something that felt more aligned.
That experience taught me how complex it can be to walk away from something that used to feel comforting or normal—even when we know it isn’t really serving us anymore.
The Question That Sparked This Post
“I know it’s bad for me… but I’m not ready to quit.”
Whether it’s smoking, drinking, sugar, toxic relationships, doom scrolling, or that late-night snack routine you swear is helping you cope—there’s often a gap between knowing something isn’t serving us and being ready to let it go.
I’ve been in that space myself. And I’ve had client after client land in my virtual chair with the same tug-of-war between “I want to stop” and “But I still need it.”
A Coach’s Take
In coaching, we don’t judge your habits. We explore them with compassion and curiosity.
And when someone tells me they want to quit something but keep going back to it, I don’t push them harder. I invite them to sit with the discomfort and get honest—because change doesn’t come from shame. It comes from clarity.
One of the tools I use here is the Decisional Balance. It helps us look at:
What’s this habit giving me?
What’s it costing me?
What might I gain by quitting?
What might I lose?
When we name the reasons we’re holding onto something (even the “bad” stuff), we start to take the power back.
One Practice to Try: Why You’re Still Choosing It
Try this on a journal page or even voice notes if that’s more your vibe:
Draw 4 sections or think through:
Benefits of keeping this habit right now
Costs of keeping this habit
Benefits of letting it go
Costs of letting it go
No filters. No “good girl” answers. Just raw honesty. You might find that this thing you want to quit is helping you numb, cope, regulate, escape—and that’s real. That’s not weakness. That’s information. From there, you can start thinking about what other tools you want to have in place when you’re ready to release the habit itself.
In Closing
You don’t have to be ready today. But you are allowed to be curious. You’re allowed to question what’s helping and what’s hurting. You’re allowed to want something better for yourself—even if it takes a hundred baby steps to get there.
And if you’re ready to talk through it with someone who won’t judge your habits, your fears, or your pace—I’m here. Let’s work together and explore your readiness to change, one gentle step at a time.
XOXO,
Jessica
In Your Corner, Always