From the Coach’s Chair: Breaking Free from All-or-Nothing Thinking
Here’s What Brought Me to the Chair Today
Let me be honest—I used to live in an all-or-nothing mindset. If I ate one “off-plan” meal, the whole day was ruined. If I missed a workout, the week was a failure. If I didn’t stick to the goal perfectly, it felt like I might as well give up altogether.
Over the years—both through my own healing and through conversations with clients—I’ve seen just how common this pattern is. Whether it’s food, fitness, habits, or even rest, so many women carry this belief that if they’re not doing it perfectly, they’re not doing it right.
The problem? It’s exhausting. It’s defeating. And it keeps us stuck in a cycle that’s the opposite of supportive.
A Coach’s Take
As a health and wellness coach, my job isn’t to tell you what to do—it’s to walk with you as you untangle what’s holding you back. And all-or-nothing thinking? It’s one of the most common roadblocks I see.
It feels safe because it’s clear. Black or white. Success or failure. But in reality, it keeps us stuck. It makes consistency feel impossible and progress feel like punishment. Coaching helps shift this pattern by bringing awareness, curiosity, and a big ol’ permission slip to live in the messy middle.
One Practice to Try
Next time you hear that harsh inner voice saying “You failed,” pause. Take a breath. Then ask yourself:
What would I say to a friend in this moment?
What’s the next kind choice I can make for myself?
What does “something” look like right now instead of “everything”?
You can even try writing a short note to your inner perfectionist. Get playful with it. Let them know you’re grateful for their enthusiasm—but you’re building a life, not a test score.
In Your Corner, Always
All-or-nothing thinking may feel like protection, but it’s actually a thief—it steals your joy, your consistency, and your ability to bounce back. Little steps matter. Messy progress matters. You matter.
Let me know if you try this reframing practice in the comments—I’d love to cheer you on. And if you’re ready to break the perfectionist loop with some support, work with me is just a click away.
In your corner, always—
XOXO Jessica