Steps? I Don’t Know Her
How I ditched my smartwatch, stopped being a data point, and started actually living.
The Breakup
You know… things just haven’t been working out lately. You’ve become really controlling, and honestly? I don’t think I can do this anymore.
The wrist dictator in its final hours.
Recently, I realized that being so connected—and so controlled—by a little device on my wrist had gotten way out of hand. It caused me to disconnect from listening to my body and instead chase goals I didn’t set for myself. Move a certain amount. Stand at certain times. Close certain rings. I stopped being a living, breathing human being and started seeing myself as a data point.
The moment it hit me? When I delayed my bedtime—again—because I had to charge my watch first. That’s when I realized something wasn’t right. I was letting a device tell me what was “healthy” and what I should be “achieving” every day. I ignored signals from my body telling me to rest, and instead pushed myself harder to meet goals the watch decided I needed. Not to mention the lovely passive-aggressive reminders to get off my “lazy” butt and move around. Cute.
The Problem with Being a Data Point
In the beginning, it was all fun and games. Competing with friends to see who could get the most steps. Seeing how well I was sleeping. Getting that satisfying data after a workout. Having a perfect streak of movement every week felt like something to be proud of.
Great. I won March. Now what?
But then… my mental health started to take a hit.
I spiraled constantly.
Was I burning enough calories to match what I was eating?
I worked out so hard and that’s all I burned?
I have to go for a walk so I don’t lose my streak—but I’m exhausted.
My body was crying out for a rest day, but I saw myself as a failure if I didn’t log 30 minutes of movement. I wasn’t doing it for me anymore—I was doing it for the data.
What I Wanted Instead
I longed for something deeper in my health and wellness. I wanted to be in tune with my body and actually listen to what it was telling me. I didn’t want to feel guilty for sitting on the couch for two hours playing a video game that brought me joy.
I didn’t want to second-guess my workouts because a device told me I only burned 200 calories, even though I was sweating my butt off the whole time. I wanted to move for the feeling of strength, energy, and empowerment—not for the calories.
I wanted to reconnect my mind and body. But with that little bossy rectangle on my wrist, I couldn’t. It was always yelling louder than my intuition.
The Transition: From Smartwatch to Sanity
April 1st marks my first full day without wearing my Apple Watch in over a year. Tonight, I’ll be taking it off and wiping it clean—a little ritual of release, a moment of freedom.
There are things I still need to track, like my BBT for natural family planning (because I do not want any more babies—at least not right now, lol). So I’ve switched back to my Oura Ring, and I’ll continue using it alongside Natural Cycles. It’s less intrusive, still intentional, and helps me track my irregular cycle (shoutout to PCOS) without dominating my day.
And yes, I almost kept the watch just because I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money on Conqueror Challenges. But thankfully, they’ve updated their app so I can convert any workout into miles. Now, I can still finish the challenges on my own terms—and when they’re done, I’ll be free from that too. Because as cool as the medals are, it still felt like another way I was tethered to numbers.
What I’ve Gained
Even though I’m just beginning this new chapter, I’ve already gained so much insight.
Most importantly, I now see how much those numbers were affecting me—how I was in a daily competition with myself, chasing arbitrary goals, and losing touch with my mental well-being in the process.
Now, I listen to my body. When I need to rest, I rest. When I need a nap, I take it. When I feel overstimulated, I slow down. I’m becoming connected to myself again, and that’s not something I’ve felt in a long time.
Final Reflections & Encouragement
“I am not a number, a trend, or a chart. I am a living, breathing story—meant to be felt, not measured.”
For me, it had to be all or nothing. I’ve been working so hard to live life away from constant tech and distractions, to connect more deeply with myself and the people around me. But for you, it doesn’t have to be that extreme.
If this resonates, I’d love for you to take a moment to reflect. No pressure. No expectations. Just a little space to ask yourself:
Journal Prompt:
• How is technology hindering me in my day-to-day life?
• How is it improving my day-to-day life?
• Where could I find more balance in the way I use technology?